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Fifth Column 6:16 Mon Aug 20
Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

First half sat in front row of East Stand by the corner flag. Behind me there were a young Japanese/Chinese couple (no, I'm not sure which)... they were talking a lot and her going to buy popcorn and then coming back etc. When Bournemouth were through in first half the bloke shouts "SHOOT" at the top of his voice [actually he shouted SHOT but you could tell what he meant]... bearing in mind this is in our "standing" block I thought he might get a clump. I think everyone realised he hadn't a clue what was going on and just wanted to see a goal from either team.

Went up to sit with family second half at the back of 133... family of Yanks ahead of us, mum and daughter started discussing the penalty shoot out that would take place at the end if the match remained 1v1.

To be fair, they were all better than the West Ham supporting dads sitting behind me with their sprogs the first season at the stadium when the kids clearly didn't want to be there and spent each match bored shitless and being increasingly annoying...

Any funny tourist stories at the football? At least the Yanks talking was more entertaining than the poxy football in the second half...

Jim C 8:25 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

I have experience of the 'going gives you some credit' argument.

Growing up in Surrey, I was surronded by Man United/Liverpool/Arsenal fans at school and every child who lived in the same cul de sac as me were Liverpool fans, simply because the oldest/coolest was. There were many attempts to get me to follow on but by then it was far too late, I was going to games and my old man had made sure West Ham were my team. There were a few Chelsea fans at school but not as many as it was the 90's and they were shit then.

The only West Ham fans were myself and one other former WHO poster, we got quite a bit of respect for it and once people knew we had both seen their teams live more times than they had we got far much more.

The Stoat 8:16 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

When I was a youngster and in the West Side with my old man (can't recall who we were playing) but a fellow Hammer who was clearly Scottish gave the referee some grief every time he came near us with a shout of "Get a Grrrrrrrrrrrrip Referee", the way he rolled is r's had eveyone around us in fits

Jim C 8:05 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Not at football, but relevant.

A while ago on the way to the pub for a family meal we were walking across the local park and I am next to my cousin in law who is a very nice bloke but not into sport in the slightest. We heard a masive shout from the cricket pitch and watched as the bowler and fielders pleaded for LBW.

He then turned to me and said 'they are all wearing white', I glanced at him with a 'so what' look to which he asked 'well how do you tell which team is which?'

lukie 1:52 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

When I was in Thailand, met a couple of Yanks. Got talking and they mentioned about seeing a "great game" the night before...
Me: Oh yeah, who was it? (Wasn't a premier league game)
Yanks: Don't know, but the score was negative - four.
Me: Oh....

Sarge 1:44 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Which one is Andy Carroll?

Yarmouth 12:06 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

'Are your team always this poor'..

Fifth Column 12:03 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Lol Mace

I don't think that's true though - at least where I live no-one ever goes to games except my kids. The other kids in their schools either think my kids are lying or they look at them like they're the luckiest kids in the world. So the "I go to games" thing does work

SurfaceAgentX2Zero 11:43 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Mace66 9:33 Tue Aug 21

Possibly, but it's good for the character.

Fifth Column 10:48 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Grumpster. First season at OS my seat was literally right at the back of the upper tier.

I always laugh at fans who can't recognise their own fans.

I spent 30 minutes thinking Kouyate was Obiang. It's true - it's so far from the pitch you've got no idea who the fuck people are.

goose 10:42 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

“England played a back 4 at italia ‘90”

stewie griffin 9:55 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Don't mind the tourists, they're unashamedly touristy and aren't doing any harm.
The pretend football fans irritate the shit out of me. Had two blokes going on about how they think Bournemouth's best player is Andre Gray for about 15 minutes on Saturday.

Grumpster 9:49 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Good luck to the tourists, the poor stadium would be half full without them, with the likes of me around who are unlikely to ever go to a home game again.

But yeah none of them have got a fucking clue what's going on basically.

In the 4 games I did go to when we first moved there, did like the chap calling out the name of an ex-player we had who had left about 2 years before.

I would say he was an utter cock or a racist who thinks that all black fellas look the same, though the seats are so far from the pitch where we were, that he probably just didn't have a scoobie!

Rossal 9:35 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Think the first season at the OS....American tourists turned up 10 mins in to the game.....big fuss getting to their seats with large backpacks etc.....sit down then after 30 seconds hear this American girl ask the group

'So which one is West Ham'

Mace66 9:33 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Surface 11.01

A kid going West Ham to watch games gets absolutely zero credit for actually going from his school peers. It’s simply a trigger for more abuse from the ManU, Spurs, Liverpool, City, Chelsea, Bournemouth etc brigade.

“yea we may have lost 4-0 but at least I went to the game”

“You poor cunt”

AKA ERNIE 9:30 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

never seen or heard one yet in the bml

cholo 9:25 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Northern Sold is right :modern football IS shit.

The Libertine 9:18 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Fifth Column 6:16 Mon Aug 20

Are you sure the chinese bloke didnt mean, someone take out a gun and shoot the fucker before he scores, as it our only way of defending and keeping the score line decent? Added benefit is that it will force the opposition to use a sub.

LeroysBoots 8:31 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Fucking typing on a phone !

LeroysBoots 8:31 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Heard at the LONDON Stadium lastcseafon, 2 Yanks said

"What time are the relays on?"

Some of that might not be true !

Cheezey Bell-End 3:20 Tue Aug 21
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

Not a tourist, but I heard a Bournemouth fan saying 'this is a difficult place to get a point'..

Sven Roeder 11:14 Mon Aug 20
Re: Great lines you've heard from tourists at the football...

It just made me laugh
The Dad was doing his best but the kid was unresponsive.

And possibly a bit dim.

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